Feel like quitting.

I feel like quitting every other day. Suicide is always on my mind.

I just need to earn more before i commit to it. Because right now, i have to provide for my son and daughter. I need to provide for my family. And only then, i can tap out.

I don’t care what religion says. Religion won’t help my mental health. Nothing can replace her. Not even ALMIGHTY HIM. I only liked her. She was the chosen one. Without her, i don’t want anything, even if i like something else. I have been just living on the computer. Playing games, doing experiments, learning tutorials. But its just me fooling around and keeping myself busy. The moment i get free, the only thing in my mind is her. I just want to be with her, even in death. I am willing to take a chance even on death, if i can end mine.

Because in the end, even living without her is not an option. I know i am being selfish for my son and daughter. I will try to provide for them, and when i see that i have enough money for them to survive their lives on.

I will, I will tap out.